American Gladiators. From the first time I saw this show, I was instantly hooked. Not being athletic or very into sports, I'm not sure why it gave me such a hard on, but it did. Maybe it was the outlandish, cartoony, cheesiness of it. Maybe it was the fact that it was like a big competitive game show. Or maybe it was the fact that that they played the kind of games I would have probably made up in my back yard if the show hadn't already made them up for me. I'm not sure what it was exactly about American Gladiators that blew my 8 year old mind, but the bottom line is, it did.
I remember being so enamored I used to set up my own version of the events in my back yard. Sometimes I'd get friends to play with me, but usually it was my brother. For Human Cannonball, we had a playhouse where I would climb up the cargo net and swing from a rope into my brother, who was standing on a little tykes picnic table with nothing but a tiny ass throw pillow as a shield. Needless to say I sent him flying and crying quite a few times. It was hard to get him to play that one after awhile. For the Joust we would stand on the edge of our pool on opposite sides of the ladder and use those stupid pool noodle toys as pugil sticks. Thinking about it now, hitting it each other with long, wet, flaccid noodles was not only pretty gay, but also pretty retarded. But hey, we enjoyed it. I also had a version of Assault with Nerf guns, which was, of course, awesome.
I don't recall exactly when I first saw the show, but I know it was usually on pretty late, way past my bed time. I used to sleep on the floor by the TV and have my dad wake me up when it started. He usually went to bed before it even started, so I missed it a lot. I would be so fucking pissed. Eventually I got him to start recording it on the VCR, so I wouldn't miss out. I'd always wake up early the next day to watch, shitting my pants the entire time. This is how I got to see the show for a good year or two, but as quick as it came into my life, is about as quick as it went out. One week it just wasn't on anymore. I think my life almost prematurely ended. I lived on my tapes for a while, until one summer I discovered reruns on USA in the morning. I watched EVERY DAY, EVERY SUMMER for a number of years. Until one summer it wasn't on anymore. Again, heartbroken.
A number of years later it comes back on, this time it's on TNN (later Spike TV), and I'm around 15 at this time, mind you. Still watching though, still watching. A few years later, the show disappears yet again. This time felt different though. It felt like it was never coming back again. And for a good four or five years, it didn't. Until last year, when I discovered it was being played on ESPN Classic. I rejoiced. The only problem was we didn't get that channel. So what did I do? Convinced my dad to get a cable box, that's what.
Through ESPN classic my love of the show I hadn't seen in years and years was renewed, and I was able to watch EVERY episode. Even ones that hadn't aired since I originally saw them back when I was 8 years old. Of course, other episodes/seasons I had already seen 5 times, but I still watched them anyway.
I don't know how I am still into this corny, ridiculous show after all these years, but I am. I suppose it's a testament to my extremely dorky nature. When I heard the show was coming back last year with all new episodes, I was wary. Would I be capable of enjoying a new version? Would they totally fuck it up and taint my nostalgia for the original? Luckily, the new American Gladiators was as cheesy and over the top as ever, and I was in fantard heaven. And now, in less than 24 hours, the second season of the new American Gladiators premieres. And for that two hours it is on, I will by eight years old again, and my life will be complete.
(Check back here later for a few preview clips of the new season, and on Wednesday for a recap of the first episode.)
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